Tired of Being Mild…
This is from the lyrics to an Andrew Bird song called Tables and Chairs:
if we can call them friends then we can call them on their telephones
and they won’t pretend that they’re too busy or that they’re not alone
[a bunch of other lines]
and we were tired of being mild
we were so tired of being mild…
Originally, I thought the words were, "tired of being right…tired of being wrong…tired of being right." Either way, I guess it still applies, since I am tired of all those things…
I haven’t written on this blog in a long time. Sometimes I think about it, wondering if whatever recent mundane event or amusing anecdote would be worthy of my reader(s?) time and attention. Other times, I feel like all I do is complain, and the most relevant people have heard it all anyway.
The past month or so have brought events both great and small…mainly small, though.
I’ve continued to explore my new neighborhood…now with the aid of a small, toylike automobile, which I purchased approximately two weeks ago. I decided that I was too dependent on other people from work for rides. Of course, now it still may be two months before I get a parking pass, but in the worst case scenario, I can drive to the visitor parking lot and try to get a ride (or wait for the bus) over the bridge.
I had a variety of guests in town, though most of them didn’t stay with me…much celebration with food and drink has helped me ignore the fact that I am still alone, despite all attempts half- and full-hearted to the contrary.
Two of my coworkers hooked up at the table during a recent drunken birthday party. The only other person who knows, besides me, is of course the famous and previously-mentioned C-of-I. In fact, it was his birthday, together with someone else who had left by then, and earlier in the week I had made them a cake and brought them presents. As much as it delights me to come off as so nice, charming, thoughtful, and sweet…at the same time, I mentally kick myself for being abject, servile, debased, and doormat-like. My genuine good-birthday-wishes were no less sincere, but I need to tone down the favors if these feelings remain unrequited.
Adding more fuel to the confused and mixed messages fire, I learned that C-of-I himself expressed the wish to have hooked up with someone…presumably your humble narrator, since I was the only other female there. Yet since that time, he continues to avoid spending any time alone with me that isn’t during lunch or our daily commute.
Of course, I have more people on my side…but this is a cold comfort…there are rumors that he may have been set up with yet another girl from Long Island…to which I responded by attempting to meet new people on my own. So far, the success rate is low…but I am trying not to be too discouraged.
In the meantime, the one person at work who I feel really knows me is now consumed with her new Secret Lover…they are together every day after work, when she and I used to hang out. In some ways, it’s a blessing in disguise, since she actually hasn’t been so nice all the time to me lately. On the other hand, now I have no more work buddy…unless you count the amount of time I spend at work trying to help her, and occasionally getting yelled at.
I’m starting to feel like this blog post is getting whiny and pointless. I was originally going to add in some funny notes to myself that I unearthed today, but maybe I’ll save them for a cheerier overall post. Hope all is well with everyone else…and for those of you who are worse off than I am, I want to be helpful and sympathetic- some days I am more so than others. You know who you are.
To everyone else, sorry for being cryptic. Bye for now.
